As part of the Grand Prize visit of the "Scarecrow" Song Lesson Contest, students at Thomas O. Hopkins Middle School in Burlington, NJ participated in a discussion panel on Tolerance and Melissa Etheridge's song "Scarecrow," written about the brutal murder of Wyoming college student Matthew Shepard. The song served as the theme of the RRL's first Song Lesson Contest, which was won by their eighth grade English teacher Laura Stegmuller.

The following is a transcription of the student's candid Q & A with Melissa Etheridge.

Hi my name is Anelia, Melissa how did you find the strength to be so open and honest about your orientation?

MELISSA: You know what? It wasn't anything that I thought was strength. It was a journey, one that began with my parents in that they were very supportive of me. Even in their own repressed way, I kind of grew up in a repressed Midwestern house, where it wasn't bad, but it wasn't good, it was kind of here (gesturing not low, not high, but in the middle). There wasn't a lot of affection or anything, but there wasn't any abuse it was just kind of right there. But they at least did give me this sense of "As long as you're out there and being self-supportive and happy then we love you and you're OK."

So when I came out to my father before I went off to California, to become a rock star. I sat him down and I said, (in a nervous jittery voice) "Dad, for a long time, I've had something to tell you" and he said "Oh, my god, what?" And I said, it was the first time I had identified to someone else, I said, "I'm a homosexual." He said, "Oh, is that it?" I said, "Yeah." He said, "Well, I kind of figured that, the whole tomboy thing. But great as long as you're happy."

So I had that basis for later in my life when I came into my career, and in the 80's with the discrimination of just being a woman in rock and roll and I was like, well I'm out to everyone I know, but it became very clear to me my first album, second album, third album, that there was a point that (the public didn't know). It's just interesting because people say "The strength to come out" it wasn't one day, that I went, "Now I feel strong, I'm going to come out." It was you know what, my life is about truth and in my writing, I am starting to feel like I am not being true. And things were being written about me assuming that I had a boyfriend or this and that and that did not feel true.

And it was important to me to be true and there came a point when I said, "You know what? The people who are listening to my music, if they are going to stop listening to my music because I'm gay, well then they're not really listening to my music." So that was maybe the strength, but I went from selling 500,000 albums to selling 6 million so it's OK, it's been all right.

Hi my name is Nikki. Melissa in "Scarecrow" you say, "I can forgive but I can not forget," how can you forgive such a hateful act of violence?

MELISSA: What I found when I had my children was that parenting is the most important thing on earth, on this earth. It was Widney who said the parents are responsible. It really became clear; that what goes into a child comes out. I learned that on kind of a new parent level in trying to learn how to parent. And once I started getting that, that what I put into this child is going to come out of them. I started realizing well, "All children are born good, I believe this, I believe they are." So what is put into them then comes out of them, and two young men who could commit such a heinous crime, something so heinous must have been put into them. So let's look beyond that and forgive on that level, which just is so hard, it's so, it's just so hard. So the hard part is well we don't forget, and we learn, we learn and move on.

ANNE: In speaking of forgiveness, one thing that we have not mentioned tonight is that Matthew Shepard's parents, on the eve of Matthew's murderer being sentenced, when the death penalty was being considered, Judy and Dennis Shepard went and met with the attorneys and negotiated a deal that would spare that man's life. He's still here and Matthew isn't. And they spared his life and they forgave him and if Judy and Dennis Shepard, Matthew's parents, can forgive those people for what they did, it's our responsibility, it's your responsibility to try.

Hi my name is Rosemarie. Melissa what do you want us to learn about Tolerance?

MELISSA: I think the most I want you to learn it's to love yourself, that's where tolerance begins. Is to feel strong enough in yourself and in your truth, whatever that might be, your wants and needs and loves and hopes and dreams and plans, to feel strong enough in that that you have room for everyone else's wants and needs and no desire to hurt or ridicule anyone else's because you feel yours and you feel your strength.

Hi my name is Brian. Melissa your music has a lot of poetic elements; do you consider yourself a poet?

MELISSA: Ah, the truth is, I do not. I have such high regards for poets. Poets have inspired me since I was very, very young and the work that a poet does, with just words, just words on a page to move your whole being and your whole mind, that is amazing. I am a lyricist and a songwriter, I use poetic devices, sometimes unknowingly, but I get lucky sometimes, and I do like to make quite a distinction that I am a lyricist and a songwriter. So, no would be the answer.

Hi my name is Tanya. Melissa why do you repeat the word love at the end of "Scarecrow"?

MELISSA: Because there was no way to end the song because there was no answer and I realized that after I wrote verse, after verse, after verse and it just kind of went around and around the only thing that could stop the cycle and be larger than this and win and rise above is love. And when I do the song in concert, the first year that I did it in concert, it was the last song that I would do and I would leave the stage with the whole audience repeating that over and over and it was like leaving something with them and with people.

Hi my name is Kanika. Melissa what do you think Matthew Shepard symbolizes?

MELISSA: I felt he was my friend next door, and that's what he symbolized to me. He is was sitting here in school with you, he's that person over here, he's us. His death then took on a much larger symbol than what he was in life and I think that's why it did.

Hi my name is Jeff. Melissa have you ever experienced discrimination from being a lesbian?

MELISSA: I have lived my life and I choose to live my life moving forward and not being caught up in the obstacles. There were probably prejudices and obstacles there, but with hope and determination and the joy of living I move through them Snd as I sit here thinking, I don't even have a story to tell you. I didn't get those Grammies, well, yes I did, well I didn't get that, no I got that too. Yeah, I don't have a story of it (facing discrimination) and I think a lot of it has to do with just trying to live in truth and live in good. So, I've never used that as an excuse.

Hi my name is Kelly. Melissa can you explain what it felt like to perform "Scarecrow" at the Equality Rocks Concert and what emotion were you feeling from the crowd?

MELISSA: That performance was really intense, that whole night. It was 50,000 people in a stadium; it's a rock star's dream, yet it was larger than myself, it wasn't about me, it was about human rights, it was about everything that we're talking about here tonight. And to stand there and just be a messenger in the best way that I could, with the gift that had been given to me, was overwhelming, I barely got through the song, but I shall always remember it as a gift that was given to me.

Hi my name is Stephanie. Melissa what kind of world do you want your children Bailey and Beckett to grow up in?

MELISSA: Oh, one where they go to this middle school. Screaming applause It gives me such hope to see you young people here. I deal with my kids, they're five and three and its all little kid things. They already live in an unusual world, with just the celebrity aspect of their lives, but then add the gay thing on top, then add the gay divorce thing and it just goes on and on their whole life. So I tell them every day, they are very special. The best thing I can do for them is to love them unconditionally, completely everyday. And to show them truth, and their truth and mirror their truth back to them and encourage them to be themselves and love them, and love them, and love them and then I give them to the world and I just wish the best for them.

Hi my name is Amanda. Melissa how did you get involved with your show "Beyond Chance?"

MELISSA: They came to me actually. They wanted a different host, and I wanted to do some work that didn't take me away from home so much so I can tape the shows in Los Angeles fairly quickly. I'm looking for more television work like that.

Have you seen the show? It's crazy. The stories are wonderful; this is "Beyond Chance" right here.

Hi my name is Danelle. Melissa have you ever felt discrimination for being a female rock star?

MELISSA: I have felt more discrimination from being female in the rock and roll world than I ever have from being queer, (laughter) or gay. We're all friends and relaxed here, aren't we?

It's interesting, when I was trying to get signed and releasing my first album, I was this rock and roll album and going to these rock stations and they were like "No, we already have A woman on our play list, and we can't play two women in the same hour." I thought that was really bizarre, the rules and such that we had to pound on and work. And so when people ask me, "Has it been hard?" It's mostly more because of being a female than anything else. But that has definitely changed in the, I don't know how many years since I've been a rock star.

Hi my name is Cindy. Melissa,do you consider yourself a human rights activist?

MELISSA: Sitting at this table, these two here (pointing to Widney and Michael) are the activists that get out there that travel, ask them where they are going next week, talk to them. The work that they do is so important. I flew in here today and I'm flying home tomorrow, I'm going to be on Hollywood Squares Saturday. I live a very, very nice, wonderful life that I am very appreciative for. I guess by being in my truth it makes me an activist; I am humbled, though, in the presence of those that go out and do the work everyday. Applause

ANNE: We're going to have to cut this short, we can take one more question.

Hi my name is Cindy. Melissa what made you decide to visit the winner's school?

MELISSA: When I read the folder that the Rocklibrary had sent me, it was kind of nebulous in what it would be, but it was a contest and I was like, "Well, I'll come to the school, because the experiences I've had the couple of times that I have got to talk to young people in middle school or high school that has been so rewarding to me." I didn't want to come here and do a concert and be distant, I wanted to be here and available to you and answer the questions you have. Screaming applause

"Scarecrow" Song Lesson Contest Grand Prize Visit

Proclamation of "Tolerance Day"

View the winning lessons!